you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
