I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
