Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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