I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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