Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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