What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
