He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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