check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
