Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize