all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
