Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize