My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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