There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm like, not good at living.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
