He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
