yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
