Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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