How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Do vagina's smell?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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