I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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