i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
