My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize