My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
