think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize