farters have to be the big spoon...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
