Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
