The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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