need another drink. this is the easiest way
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
