I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize