pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
