Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize