My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
