C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
