i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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