Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
