I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
