And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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