this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
