pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
