Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
