I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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