found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
