Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
