Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
