Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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