Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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