I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
