she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
