THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
