he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize