Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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