ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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