hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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