my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
