I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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