Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
