i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
