this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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