were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
