When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
